[they] enjoy your suffering...
each and every day
"I have come to believe this as true - that, the real price of ones happiness, whether one is aware of it or not, is to make others suffer... despite all the joy strangers have generously given me - I hope to be proven wrong one day."
"but ...I love to say "NO" to those guys who think of themselves EXTREMELY good..." JOJO4
(this is a SCALED DOWN IMAGE -
you can view the full version here ==> ICHIGEKI!!!
Going back to my roots, I had a SUDDEN, PAINFUL urge to draw Holiday, in his most purest [EVIL] form. (No T&Z or PURPLE tonight, and I still have to colour my buddy's T-shirt design >__< urgh!!! I keep procrastinating cause everyone wants me to draw cute women XP, hope Jim doesn't see this.. Dude.. seriously its a labour of love and devotion.)... humbly speaking, I think this is the way I wanted to draw Holiday from the beginning (hair, etc...)(but didn't have the ability to, 6 years ago, but I still have a long way to go cause I see all my errors).. I think his look is not snobbish and ARROGANT enough.. but hey it was what needed to be drawn at the time... Its good to see Holiday again : D
"Growing up" in Pittsburgh, PA - I have a weakness for a fine Philly Cheesesteak (more than any other weakness, like say a hot sexy model in leather :D) (and being stared at, as a strange, blacked haired, slit eyed person) That coupled with a TRUE North Carolinan glass of SWEET TEA, I am set. I think I need to go back one day, preferably in the winter so I can wear my wool Chow Yun Fat coat. Walk with a fixed blade in my belt and just -be-. (CA sucks!)(I think I would cry if I went back...)
Between just doing OT (overtime) at work.. ~MUKATSUKU~, I have been revisitting RUSSIAN MARTIAL ARTS (Systema) and also researching true and tested SHONEN phrases (in Russian) like "DIE", "ONE SHOT (ichigeki?)", "GENIUS", "GOOD MORNING" & "THANK YOU"... sadly, not being in school anymore, I don't have any Russian friends to ask. (all for the sake of TZ chapter 1) - I always thought that the classic names in Russian were Misha, Boris & Yuri.. I am trying not to use those names...
>__<;;
Speaking of which I am REALLY looking forward to getting fansubs (eventho I am so out of the loop) for AREA 88 - remake - hopefully my brother doesn't slack off and finds me one. I LOVE 80s anime, and I think that 88 is one of the perfect examples of symbiotism between SHOUJO and SHONEN. I just want to relive the time I was in my dormroom and screamed "BORIS!!" during [that] pivotal scene...
EVERYONE MUST PAY! because Boris had to suffer... This is the feeling I wanted to invoke.
So it comes to the end of the "ravent"... (a rant and rave at the same time... plus I don't like to use the word RANT cause its WEAK.) before I turn in, I have been thinking of my favourite phrase all day "Raison D'etre", which means "reason for being..." tho I am not so into French as a language, I think it is a romantic phrase (go figure) but too snobbish and not as badass enough as say Cantonese, this phrase was taught to me by my good Japanese friend, Shigeo-san.
We are all driven by something... by pain, hunger, even revenge or blind devotion, for those we think are important in our lives, even when that love is unrequited. Each reason is as viable as another, and is a welcome alternative to living life aimlessly. ...being the way I am for the past 2 years, there are two things I don't do often.. that is 1) read and 2) think.. I guess I fancy myelf as a bubble-headed ditzy asian. Don't get me wrong, most asians I know are pretty ANGSTY, ROUGH and wear only black or white - full of pain, from historical perspective. (Asians as immigrans had to work really really hard, but I think were not OPPPRESSED as brutally as other ethnic minourities - maybe cause asians like me are so charming, cute and cuddly ^__^ ohoho)
...so yes in all seriousness now before I lose my train of thought. I wonder if I have changed since the past. 5 odd or so years ago I made a prediction that in the future, I would, from time to time, want to ask my younger self a question. What I would give to go back in time and walk into KIVA HAN coffee house and sit down in front of that loser who looked like Shinji M drinking that large coffee and eating that arrogant packaged pasta, would S. be shocked that the future self visitted? ...but I would smile and say...
"S., if I were to make peace with the monsters in my past, would I merely cease to exist?"
7 Comments:
Hey! I wear a lot of blue too! and sometimes some red! XD
Evil Holiday is always awesome, and that pic just oozes with "I'm too badass for you." :3
I still need to get my hands on some of this sweet tea... if it's NC, then maybe I can ask my stepmum's parents for some (they're native NC'ers~), I'll have to see what I can do. in the meantime, my coco and coffee will have to do~ ^^;
one shot = ichigeki (一撃）:3
例：「我が一撃は無敵なり！」－－－Shadow Skill, awesome comic :D
AHHHHH!! you spoil!!! (for area 88 ^^;) I've never seen it before, but I only heard about the remake recently... TT
... ah, who am I kidding? Fei must have spoiled something of two dozen rpg endings that I'll never see, one more can't hurt~
being a 4th gen nikkei, I guess I never really had the experience that a lot of other asians have (my dad is the most american person I know, short of actually sticking a red, white, and blue banner on his front porch... @@;;;) I get lots of other angst though, often related to my studies and... stress ^^;
はっきり言わなくても誰でも自分の心に「獣」という物がある。これは悩み、痛み、そして失敗のことなんだ。しかしその獣に勝つしかねえぞ～
... some things just sound better/cooler in Japanese~ ^^
Yuuu~
DUDE!! as I mentioned at our get together, SHADOW SKILL is GREAT! Its funny back in the day when (apparently) it was easier to get fansubs.. the minimum order HAD to be 4 tapes.. and I said.. huh "Shadow Skill".. OK. Turns out this black sheep in my lot order kicked the other 3 tapes I ordered : ) had a small webpage on PSYCHO SHONEN dedicated to it but never got the comic.
Considering how much you rave about it - I really should get it!!
無敵なり！ >: 0 OUU!!
(now where's that match we dropped)
and yes I try to wear yellow, olive green and other colours eversince I heard of this stereotype in fashion ; ) I am pretty guilty of that.
oh sorry about the 88 spoiler >__< buuu.
BTW I am reflecting on your Japanese quote.. help me out here since I am rusty : )
"Even if it's not clearly said,
everyone has a [beast] inside their hearts.
This is an agonizing, painful and failure(?) thing.
(?? I don't know how to translate shippai in this case??)
However, you must win against this [beast]."
help me out here : D I'm out of touch and can't read BR novels.
the shadow skill comic is crazy badass. uuu... I saw most of the tv series (they had the vhs tapes on sale at some shop in SF for 30 bucks!!! XD) except for around the last 4 episodes, but from what I could tell, the story is generally the same and covers the first two collections (if I remember correctly, there were 3 tankobans, and then he recently started up again with 3 new ones. he only releases one a year and the series MAY be over, but I'm not sure yet ^^;). I love the old stories the best (Blackwing is AWESOME), but the newest volume was epic~ :D check it out, I insist! :3 the only problem is that there are occasionally gaps in the storyline, but I personally believe that it's a minor detail at best ^^;
(looks at self)
I wear blue today! :D but I have a thing for black slacks... I don't think I own much else in terms of pants ^^;
I think you generally got the idea of what I was saying :3 I think this is a better translation of the last two lines though:
This (beast) is worry, pain, and failure.
However, there is no other option but to prevail over it.
I'm so happy that my Japanese is better now. when I asked my J-friend to proofread my first comic that I wrote in Japanese, he just kind of laughed ^.^;
Yuuu~
I know what you mean Yuu.. 3-4 years of Japanese really does a number on you. Back in the beginning it was just pre packaged lines stolen from anime and word for word broken sentences. Hell some of the stuff in PShonen is downright EMBARASSING to publish now that I have a little something between my ears : ) I am so happy too
: D
This weekend is the SF JTown anime fair.. so it is an excuse to go down there and hang out. Wiht only 4 or so tankou of Shadowskill then its definitely a GOOD BUY. Thanks for reminding me about it. I have been putting it off for so long.
Also thanks for helping me translate ^^;
now I can be muteki nari!!
>:0 OUU!
uuu... if I remember correctly, the SS tankous are the big type, I think they charge some ungodly amount like 13-15 bucks for them @@;;; ahh, but they're so worth it, you must buy~! :D
Arg, I kept trying to finish a good response at work and I couldn't; we got rushed by the last-minute scramble for cash. :P Sorry I didn't show up on chat, S-kun...
What I want to know is why you decided to remove all that elegant text from this entry--I hit F5 at work to reload the comment count, and *poof*! :(
Ah, I'm so glad to see this wonderful Holiday art...he is probably my favorite chara, even more than Shinji or Iori. :) But it's strange to me that you'd describe him as being arrogant, since I never got that impression of him from SilDark (and I don't think that it was his character design that influenced my opinion). To me, he had supreme self-confidence and a certainty of his own rightness, but arrogance (to me) suggests that he would be concerned with superiority for its own sake; I always got the feeling that he was attempting to be self-sacrificing, albeit in a twisted and unappreciated way. But that's only my thoughts on the matter--you made the man. ^^
Now, even though it was one of the parts you removed, I'd say that I'd go with you to Pittsburg. :D I've never been anywhere near there (well, I was in New York for a while, but that's as close as I got)--while I probably wouldn't enjoy going there randomly as a tourist kind of thing, it would be cool to go with someone who actually knew the place well and could give the visit a more personal touch. I would also carry around your extra Kleenex, since I'd bet you wouldn't cry just once. ;)
I would imagine that Babelfish would work fine for simple Russian phrases--just don't try anything too complex, or else it might start spewing gibberish. :) And if you need more Russian names, you can also just watch Enemy at the Gates again. Don't forget "Natasha" as another stereotypical Russkie name. ;)
Area 88...I've never heard of it before, but I'm interested in the shonen/shoujo intersection. The only other series that I would think to attach that label to would be Eva.
Your question is an excellent one, and I've struggled with something similar myself for some time now. My studies are showing me that strength is in adaptability, rootlessness, the removal of the past in order to be attached to nothing concretely, the ability to change endlessly to fit any circumstance. But I have been finding that even the painful and unlikeable parts of myself and my history are included in what defines me, and there is a real fear of destroying those things because I have this subliminal certainty that I will cease to be myself. I have to wonder which would be stronger for me--the fear or the happiness (should I get to that point). If I were to really clear up all the issues that keep me angry and vicious, then would I really be at peace or would I automatically start looking for something else to hate, to replace what I had before because anger is part of my self-definition?
Obviously, I don't have an answer. I'm just running my fingers. ^_^;
If I'm still alive next week, I should remind myself to Google for Shadow Skill scanlations. Yuu's been plugging the series to me forever, but there hasn't been much I could do about it because I can't read it...^^;;; (<= stupid gaijin! no soup for you!!)
Hope you guys both had good Fridays. :D
Ex Animo
J.
J, your answer is very interesting.. and viable.. if one beast is put to rest, will another one rise up to replace it?? Does having the first beast festering in your mind prevent the second beast from taking dominance? Hmm I am sure we can go on and on about this until we're blue in th eface.. just cause were masochistic like that : )
but yes thanks again for the compliments on Johnny. As far as ARROGANT vs. Self-Confident/Riteous.. I think it was just me not making a distinction between those two words. to me JH is self-confident and believes he has a divine duty. So indeed I guess "arrogant" might not be the right word.
more of, he doesn't look, as Yuu eloquently put it, "I am SO too badass for you!" or "You are SO going to die now, buddy. >:D"
...I don't know if you want to go to Pittsburgh bud.. it's pretty boring : )
and yes I thought to cut some parts out in the blog but after you mentioned it, and after another painfuly lon day I thought better and to immortalize my thoughts.
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