1963 (note: clean drawing table)

sometimes I wonder, wouldn't it be so much simpler if people would be more forgiving of others. Things in your life don't always go the way you want it to - but do you have to get angry? Must you project your frustration onto others? There's nothing you can do to change the ones you love.
YOU ONLY CAUSE PAIN.
A friend of mine taught me this. I won't forget that emotion. Won't be able to forgive myself...

{It was January, 1963 When Johnny came home with a gift for me
He said I bought it for you because I love you & I bought it for you because it’s your birthday, too;
He was so very nice, he was so very kind- To think of me at this point in time.
I used to think of him, he used think of me...
He told me to close my eyes - My gift would be a great surprise - I saw tears were in his eyes;
He never meant to hurt me "Oh, god, Johnny", don’t point that gun at me -
There’s so many ways our lives have changed, but please, I beg, don’t do this to me
Johnny, don’t point that gun at me. Can I save my life at any price?
For god’s sake won’t you listen to me?

And though he was ashamed that he had took a life, Johnny came home with another wife
And he often remembered how it used to be, before that special occasion, 1963
There was too many ways that you could kill someone - Like in a love affair, when the love is gone;
He told me to close my eyes, my gift would be a great surprise
I saw hatred in his eyes, but he never meant to hurt me
"Oh! GOD, Johnny", don’t point that gun at me, there’s so many ways our lives have changed
But please, I beg, don’t do this to me, Johnny, you keep on using me;
Can I change my life for any price? Oh, johnny, won’t you listen to me?

Oh, johnny, do you miss me?
I just want to feel FREE
I will always feel FREE...}
-NEW ORDER

TRAPPED IN THE 80s
-Listening to this song tonight, I thought, hey this is GODDAMN "Tensai and Z" that I want to write (I guess it was just quite simply subliminal osmossis from listening to NEW ORDER - esp while writing purple...)

Coffee Cheesecake

I love cheesecake.. but I made the mistake of eating a LOT for breakfast.. it was not chocolate.. but COFFEE!! DAMN!! Now I am wired all day! (I don't get this from Red Bull for some reason : p)

-SPEED - THE offensive ORGY MODE- I took delivery of 2 NEO GEO games today ; ) (I guess I can't help it at all with the nostalgia) Last blade 1 and Last blade 2. Sure you can get the ROMS off the net but there's something about those clunky BIG cartridges (it doesn't help AT ALL hanging out in www.neo-geo.com and seeing other freaks like yourself to reinforce the obsession) you can use to just bludgeong people with : ) I didn't play this much in high school - mainly cause it was not so popular so I played it alone.. cutting class and being in a noisy arcade I didn't get to appreciate the fine points of it. It has a wonderful sountrack - which at times include - silence - what a concept!! It adds a lot of charm to the story when you want trnaquility in your living room while slashing the hell out of your opponent!! - and when they do have music you get to appreciate it more.

That coupled with the FINE attention to detail that only SNK can do (sorry PLAYfrickinMORE) the nice animation (2D yeah I am trapped in the 80s) and the backgrounds are lush and reactive. There is one snow scene where the ground exposes the soil underneath on knockdown and the snow on the walls of the dojo and the branches fall when you topple your opponent an cause a 'vibration'. Now that is a game : )

Hideo Kojima (Metal gear Solid) said that unlike movies, games cannot stand the test of time and generations because they are limited to the hardware (so make the most out of it now.. HINT HINT Yuu...). Sadly that is true. But hopefully it can live on in this household!

- ULTIMATE GOD OF DESTRUCTION - having a good buddy who owns a card and anime store really has its perks. I visitted Emory today to purchase the whole GET BACKERS DVD collection and a few extras like SAMURAI CHAMPLOON (sp?) which I hear is good. Hey if Falcoon - the chara designer for KOF 2003 thinks its cool then that is as good an endoresement from me : )!!!

ANYWAYS I got a present!! 8" GUNGRAVE FIGURE! I have been lusting for this at his shop but it's one of those things you just think is too much "for a toy" and you want but never end up buying. It's a PERFECT gift. ^_^ Unlike a gift you would have bought for yourself anyways but the guy beat you to it, this is something you would never have otherwise! Now I feel guilty.

More pics soon... I was wired all day - I want to do some art for MRB and Purple: Bizarre Love pentagon (cause I was listening to NEW ORDER onthe way to the shop). I have to do Marlowe's T shirt ; ) so much to do.. thank GOD for the long weekend.. that and the closed outside world so I have to be trapped inside playing NEO GEO and/or be creative ; )

I gotta finish PURPLE: ENDLESS CHAIN too..
looking forward to BIZARRE LOVE PENTAGON.

Now you supress a superhero?

Kalifornia Kraziness continues:
San Francisco wants to adopt the gun ban policies of Washington, DC,
(murder capital of the nation!) to reduce crime.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results" - Anonymous

---

Source: Chronwatch http://www.chronwatch.com/content/contentDisplay.asp?aid=11888&catcode=13

Gun Control: Hiding Their Heads in San Francisco

Written by Howard Nemerov
Tuesday, December 21, 2004

“We know that for even law-abiding folks who own guns, the rates of suicide and mortality are substantially higher. So while just perceived to be a crime thing, we think there is a wide benefit to limiting the number of guns in the city.” – Bill Barnes, aide to Supervisor Chris Daly (1)

With this erroneous claim to bolster them, San Francisco supervisors kicked off a campaign to get voters to approve a city-wide handgun ban to take effect in 2006. What they are ignoring, besides statistical data, is history.

Gun Ownership and Murder Rates

Mr. Barnes used the term “mortality.” The US did have higher total mortality rates in 1999––the most recent World Health Organization statistics available online––than either Australia and the United Kingdom. (2) Both countries, Australia in 1996 and UK in 1997, instituted massive gun bans, and are surrounded by water, theoretically making it easier to restrict smuggling, yet drastically reduced lawful gun ownership has not correlated decisively with murder rates.

	1999 Mortality Rate/1,000	Change Since 1996
UK	10.6	-1.8%
USA	8.8	.5%
AUS	6.8	-3.4%

But to say this is due to greater US firearms ownership is misleading at best. The murder rate trend in the US compares favorably to the UK and AUS since the latter two countries’ banned guns.

Homicide 1996-2001 (3)
	1996			2001
	Murders	Population	Rate/1,000	Murders	Population	Rate/1,000	Change
UK (Eng/Wales)	679	52,010,000	0.013	850	52,041,916	0.016	25.1%
USA	19,645	265,228,572	0.074	16,037	285,317,559	0.056	-24.1%
AUS	350	18,310,700	0.019	340	19,357,594	0.018	-8.1%

With no conclusive relationship between civilian disarmament and murder rates, the onus of proving that law-abiding gun owners represent a threat to public health and safety rests firmly with the SF supervisors. Unless, of course, they intend to force a legal system upon residents that presumes guilt.

Internationally, the US compares even more favorably, rated 24^th overall in murder rate. All countries with higher rates have far more gun control; they have no Constitutional right to own guns, and self-defense is not a valid reason for ownership. (4)

Gun Ownership and Suicide Rates

The following table summarizes World Health Organization statistics. (5)

Suicide Rates (per 100,000 population)
	1995	1999/2000	Change
UK	7.4	7.5	1.4%
USA	11.9	10.4	-12.6%
AUS	12.0	12.5	4.2%

Again, there is no relationship between civilian disarmament and suicide rates. As with murder rates, the US is 27^th overall in suicide rate, and countries with higher rates have more gun control. (6)

Further confirmation that gun ownership has no consistent correlation with murder and suicide comes from a study that collated a United Nations report and found no positive correlation between gun ownership and higher levels homicide or suicide. (7)

Washington, D.C.: Grave Warning

In 2003, our nation’s capitol experienced a murder rate of 44.2 per 100,000 population, about 10 times the rates of nearby states and nearly 8 times the national rate. (8) This is a continued trend begun in 1976, when D.C. instituted a gun ban, claiming the dubious title of “Murder Capital of the World” 14 of the last 15 years. (9)

Conclusion

Certain San Francisco supervisors are choosing to ignore history. With so much evidence casting doubt upon the wisdom of banning civilian firearm ownership, they would be wise to abandon their plan. Considering all the easily-accessible information contradicting their claims of noble intent, one must pause and ponder what their true motivation may be.

Since it has been in vogue for cities to sue firearms manufacturers for criminal use of highly-regulated, non-defective products, it would seem legal ground has been prepared for similar suits in the reverse direction: that city politicians should be held accountable for death and destruction of public safety resulting from the flawed policies they enact. Perhaps we need to start a new holiday: Take a Politician to Court Day.

---

Footnotes

(1) San Francisco supervisors propose sweeping gun ban, Lisa Leff, Associated Press Writer, Wednesday, December 15, 2004.http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2004/12/15/state1859EST0145.DTL
(2) World Health Organization, WHO Statistics: Mortality Database.
http://www3.who.int/whosis/mort/table1.cfm?path=whosis,mort,mort_table1&language=english
(3) UK Murder rates: Crime in England and Wales 2002/2003. British Home Office, July 2003, page 53. http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/rds/pdfs2/hosb703.pdf
England & Wales Pop 1996, page 51
http://www.statistics.gov.uk/downloads/theme_population/PT90book_V2.pdfEngland & Wales Pop 2001, page 10 http://www.statistics.gov.uk/census2001/downloads/pop2001ew.pdf
USA Stats and population:
FBI Uniform Crime Reports. At http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/03cius.htm , Table 1.
AUS murder rates:
Australian Crime Facts and Figures 2002, Australian Institute of Criminology, November, 2002, page 6.
http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/facts/2002/facts_and_figures_2002.pdf
AUS Population.
1996 Australian Population, Year Book Australia 2002, Australian Bureau of Statistics.
http://www.abs.gov.au/Ausstats/abs@.nsf/94713ad445ff1425ca25682000192af2/0db74c39eee3a02fca256b350010b402!OpenDocument
2001 Australian Population, Nation by Nation
http://www.nationbynation.com/Australia/Population.html
(4) Crime: Murder, Nationmaster.com.
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/cri_mur_cap
(5) Suicide rates for United Kingdom 1950-1999, World Health Organization, 2004.
http://www.who.int/mental_health/media/en/373.pdf
Suicide rates for United States 1950-2000, World Health Organization, 2004.
http://www.who.int/mental_health/media/en/374.pdf
Suicide rates for Australia 1950-2001, World Health Organization, 2004.
http://www.who.int/mental_health/media/en/281.pdf
(6) Mortality: Self-Harm, Nationmaster.com.
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/mor_sel_har_cap
(7) Cross-Sectional Study of the Relationship Between Levels of Gun Ownership and Violent Deaths, Greenwood, March 2000.
http://www.wfsa.net/adobe_documents/Cross_Sectional_Study.PDF
(8) Crime in the States, 2003, FBI. http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius_03/xl/03tbl05.xls
(9) House Republicans Want to Get Rid of D.C. Gun Ban, Jon E. Dougherty, NewsMax.com, September 15, 2004. http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2004/9/14/161546.shtml

About the Writer: Howard Nemerov is a Bay Area freelance writer who has a special interest in the preservation of the Second Amendment. Howard receives e-mail at hnemerov@netvista.net.

The purpose of Art

Something I read from www.metalgearsolid.com, which I thought was very insigthful and something worth striving for and taking to heart... (and I think what everyone should strive for - in anything they create and share with others)

A game has to be more than just a way to pass the time. The player has to get something back for the time he spends, something that enriches his life.
- Director Hideo Kojima, afterword to METAL GEAR SOLID naked

Les Enfants Terribles

...Snake, she wanted her memory to live on, in your [heart]

I finished MGS3 tonight, and am still wiping the salty tears from my cheeks. Admittedly the tears did not come from the character development, but instead from the political intrigue. This can definitely be a movie in itself ;_;. The MGS1 formula was definitely shonen, 2 gay, and 3 political. I can respect the message in 3 more than the MGS2 "where is your ghost in the shell" BS.
The story can be rivalled, and the chara development can definitely be topped!! But I do not know if the gameplay can be further improved. We shall see. All in all what a wonderful...

• "What do you say to one last Showdown?!"

MGS3.32:29:44.SHARK
MGS4

see you in 2 years!

you are invincible

...have you forgotten what it was like to dream the impossible?

and now after 15 years, you've woken up and realized that you're spending your days punishing your children - projecting your faults on them; regretting your spent life...

• Tekken Game intros just get BETTER and BETTER. To think that a game I once thought cheap seems quite intriguing now. But I digress... With Tekken 5 out, I think that the PS2 intro (screenplay) of Tekken Tag Tournament rivals it (if not for the opening feather's scene in T5 it would be ehhh.). However the PS2 intro is always more interesting than the Arcade intro. I am looking forward to the T5 PS2 intro. : ) Only one more.. once they do Tekken 6, then I will have fulfilled my prediction back in 1999 (billboard in my second darkness part - offset little thing)



• The COLOUR PURPLE - Chapter 12_3 - The [White] Devil. I do all my reading either at lunchtime or when I am travelling, I can't say I enjoy reading but it's a great way to pass the time and get some neat information when the fiction is well written with some non fictional facts. Two things annoy me tho - one is very short and abrupt writing, the second is too verbose writing that goes around in circles. I'm experimenting with both - maybe more of the latter with this new chapter. Oh well. The show must go on! Hopefully I can find a nice balance with my style as some of my old chapters were quite disjointed an short.
  



• I have been spending FAR too much time with Metal gear Solid 3. Much like Gungrave (the anime) I found it lacking, tho fun once you get into it, it did not have the "Oh, DA TEARS!" appeal of MGS1. As I go on tho I find myself welcoming the new game system with our old buddy Snake (with his 1911 ^_^ and EK knife). none of that MGS2 'Gayden' character... tho they poke fun at themselves kinda like how we ridicule our past mistakes to cover up. I must admit tho, I think REVOLVER OCELOT has a lot more in this than just comedy relief. We have REAL Rival Complex here. - and yes maybe I can appreciate a good love story - it is possible with a PShonen Love story.. even if it is what transcends love between a man and a woman.. in the end.. isn't it what this is all about? HURAH MGS3! Rival Complex Score = 3.5/5 (not YET a 4 for now but Da Tears meter (3.9/5) were there).
  



• Over the weekend I saw bits and pieces of DE LOVELY. (I prefered COLLATERAL, tho because it was Hollywood.. it had a hollywood ending (BOO!) Collateral begs for John Woo or Luc Besson to direct it outside of America.) For some reason directors believe that if they put homoerotic scenes in a movie or go against current politics it will be an art film. Ho Hum. I think it takes more than a story of a homosexual man who marries a woman to garner awards for me. Yaoi is well and good, but I guess if there's no neck biting, blood or angst then it's bleah! Rival Complex score = 0/5.
  



• I woke up real tense today. Had a mean dream where I was just beating the shit out of everyone. It was a real riot of the blood that was TOO true to life. By about noontime today I realized I had to calm down cause my jaw was still so tense from the night before. I had lockjaw when I drank water at lunch cause I just wanted to bite into someone's neck. So this is what it feels like.. The riot...
  

the answer

how sad it is, to have an existence built upon [regret].

I really do regret not just taking off from work (and my bro even gave me all the pertinent info) and driving to LA so I could shake Hideo Kojima's hand (Metal Gear Solid 3) Has my old age gotten me complacent and just indifferent? That is so sad that i can't just drop anything for a whim.

I sometimes wonder why I so enjoy watching old game trailers (especially OH, DA TEARS! ones.. and symphonic ones like FF7 and FF8). What a great feeling it must be to have 300 foreigners line up so they can appear foolish (yet proud) dress up as a character you created and just begging to shake your hand. What influence. While the rest of the world is busy making screwed up broken families and bitter children, there are those who so ready cultivate the minds of willing.

Maybe he has the answer. When I go to the gym or to the range it seems nowadays it doesn't help me focus, but instead blanks my mind. It seems purposeless. But the answer is in front of everyone. Everyone just wants the easy way out, and only listen to what they want to hear.

I am getting old. Next time there's a Final Fantasy Concert with the LA philharmonic orchestra I will be there! Speaking of which : ) check out the trailers here (and the Metal may Cry remix)

http://www.playstationpro2.com/Downloads.html

Your on your way to DESTRUCTION

I dunno what to write.. I just wanted to graffitti...

sacrifice and dedication...

fixed my sights, finally
Went to the range yesterday after a long hiatus.
...try to shoot a .45 with your left hand single handed.
It's quite a sensation ^_^
- a wonderful lively emotion.
Fast and furious, dubious elation.
Everybody get up - clap your hands and move your body..

Doo bee doo bee doobeedoo.. oh oh yaay ya!

"maybe it's true..."

"HOU LANG, HAI ZHEN..."

Man.. I draw slow.. before the scanning it took me an hour to do this I think... There's no way I can be as good as Krum or Irina who's taken art classes...

HOWEVER; I can't say anything more, because if I want something to be true, I have to make it so. back to finishing ENDLESS CHAIN (fanfiction KOF95) for me...

excuse me...

do you know what time it is?
I think it's time to save the world...

now I've seen it all...

it's 1 AM, time to wake up [boy];

it's time to witness [passion]



My Bro (#3) is pretty cool... he's more into the gaming junkie scene than I am, and sends me all these cool links. The lastest one we are anticipating is the new SAINT SEIYA fighting game on PS2. After sifting thru it, I can't help but be nostalgic.

My family could never understand why I was so into it back in grade school (tho I think all kids would be much better people if they had watched it) (hell, I placed an order for the entire TV series on DVD and my 'dealer', and I quote, said; "Saint Seiya? What's wrong with you dude~!?!" ^__^)

It was shown on weekday mornings. That would mean that I would sleep 8PM every night, set my alarm for 1AM JUST so I could watch it - sure, I could have TAPED IT, but that would mean I couldn't talk about it in school the next day with the buds.

Maybe I am old and grumpy but I think memories are sweeter that way.

I always liked Shiryuu (not sure of the name since I watched it all in Cantonese, I have trouble with the Japanese special moves actually) cause he had SHORYUUKEN ^_^ that and all the guys and girls at school liked him. When I was 13 I ended up liking Ikki... and now I can't help but like the character I didn'tpay as much attention to - Hyouga.

Sasaki Kojiro!

A sword is such an evil, horrible thing.

Nothing much.. I just wanted to say that I JUST read VAGABOND #14.
For the first time ever I think, I read the ENTIRE tankoboun in one sitting (lunch.. and then some : p) I don't usually do that.

It is a great stand alone digest and I am looking VERY forward to picking up the next volume. It's one of those "OH DA TEARS" stories. Even when read stand-alone it's very good.

get the hell out!

this is my heart, and I will dictate my future.


It's been while since I drew something.. so here ya go : ) "Everything's great, I'm doing just fine..."

"DESTINY is calling you."
-TENSAI & Z.

EEK! EEK! J.'s arriving tomorrow~~ I gotta get the dirty laundry offa the hallways!! (That and disarm the booby traps.) Cold noodles and SATAN COOKIES reaDY! All is well with the world.